"Throughout my whole life, during every minute of it, the world has been gradually lighting up and blazing before my eyes until it has come to surround me, entirely lit up from within."
- Teilhard de Chardin
Nick Flynn quotes de Chardin in his memoir. He quotes a lot of people at the beginning, and then he shifts into his own voice. He mentions that catharsis, in Greek, is more of a practice than an event (282). I think that this might be the perfect description of grief for which I've spent three and a half months searching. I conceptualizer it as a Derridean event (my iPad does not know this adjective - it autocorrects to "deride and").
I open my window to air things out. I lie in my sunbeam, just my legs coated in its rays. I keep an eye on the cat, ready for her surgery 24 hours ahead of time. I know I need to get up, but I lie still a moment longer, and listen to the birds hiring, trying to turn this event into a practice.
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