Thai Yoga Massage: Snippets

I am in a cab, late for the Thai yoga massage training I've been awaiting for weeks. I'd feel worse about being late on the first day if I didn't feel so exhausted and nauseated. I slept till 7:30, when I had intended to run first and arrive early.

While in cab: we pass by Lawrence House. Hi, Mama.


I can get my tattoo now. I've made some brave decisions and commitments. Maybe that is what I was waiting for.


As I sit in my training, I see a light glancing off the window across the way. It's a small ball of fire, seemingly disconnected from anything terrestrial. At the very least, it's source doesn't show through our big window. It's only there for a second, and nobody else seems to notice. Hi, Ma.

I write a message to her on the bathroom wall, in the provided chalk.


During our discussion of the four Brahma Viharas, someone says, decisively, "I'm going to be okay with that." It's not a prediction - it's an action. This distinction knocks me flat for a second. I think about what such a pronouncement could do to and for my life.


Upekkha, our teacher tells us, can be defined in English as equanimity or as non-prejudice. I am struck by the link between those two concepts. I have already linked metta and chesed, but that's because the English translation is the same. This comes from the other side. As I muse over the connection between the words, I realize that part of my own difficulty with the idea of losing contol can be mitigated by the following mindset: so I didn't get to do the thing I wanted or accomplish the thing I expected. What will I get out of this day instead? Get is active here, not passive.

In the discussion of the term, someone brings up her bipolar diagnosis. She says that she renames the stages in order to see them in a different light and (I suspect, knowing something about naming) in order to be more in control. She also wears grey when it reflects the complexities of her mood. I wonder if I have such a power color.

Another way to look at it, in the language of this practice: tension is potential energy that's been tied in knots.