Carolyn Hax on Self-Care

I love advice columns. I especially love them when things in my life are rough, in part (I'll admit) because it reminds me that other people have problems, too, and in part because I often glean some pretty applicable advice. The Washington Post's Carolyn Hax often helps me out on the latter point, but one of her columns this spring is such a gem that I feel like it was written for me.

She writes, 

"Taking pride in our strengths helps keep our spirits up and engines running, but too rigid a self-definition can become a straitjacket. In fact, get too tied up in being The One Who Can Handle Anything, and your first wobble will suddenly become the next thing on your list of terrible things you must face.

Instead, build some humanity into that self-image: 'I'm human, I get emotional, I get overwhelmed, but then I find my way back.'"

This is advice that I probably could have usefully tattooed on myself before Mom's illness and I would've gotten a lot out of it. Now, sometimes, I think it's even more challenging to accept help, even though I have more of a track record for it now, because I can think of myself as Having Come This Far (however This Far is on the endless road that is grief).

I am so lucky to be surrounded by incredible friends both far and near, the most wonderful aunt, strong yoga and kickboxing communities, and the memory and genetic imprint and embodied teachings of my incredible mother. Some people never get to have what I have right at my fingertips, or just a phone call away.